Evans, you have been warned!
I may have mentioned this before but, in case you missed it - my neighbor is insane.
Okay, sorry. That might not be completely accurate and I don't mean to offend anyone but she's at least having trouble adjusting her medication(s) or something. I mean, the facts speak for themselves:
1) Over the course of 4 years, she managed to paint her house a a blotchy purple (I think she used a couple different colors and that's why it's so blotchy).
2) Initially, she thought the perfect trim color for dark purple was, of course, gold. A year later, the unicorn living in her dryer lint catcher must have told her that poop brown was a much better choice. That change took 2 years to complete.
3) My dog hates her so you know there's some problem with her.
4) She threatened me not to glare and then thanked me for "our talk" when I hadn't said more five words all during her rant.
E) She threatened to call the cops on the Capt. and six months later was chatting him up (he was so stunned to see her smile at him he thought for sure it was a different person).
Enough reasons to start with?
The latest are the signs she's posted on her house.
At first, we didn't pay too much attention and thought maybe her boy-toy was working out of her house. Then, after a better look at the wordage and the threat not to trespass, the Capt. thought the signs were posted for her latest boyfriend. He reasoned that they'd had a fight. I said it was possible since she had taken out a restraining order on her ex-hubby a few years back. But the Capt.'s reasoning didn't make sense to me. However, I said nothing, as often something doesn't make sense to me until I've had a chance to process it.
Still, I'd never heard of someone having the first name of "Evans" before. "Evan", sure, but not "Evans".
So, I googled 'cause that's what I do when I'm puzzled. I google a lot obviously.
Turns out "Evans Glass" is a company and they are in this area. Now, stating the city or state statute restricting them access to your property is, perhaps, a bit extreme but logical. Directing anyone with questions to your attorney is a little over the edge.
Handwriting it in what looks like green crayon and black marker and putting up two signs (there's also one beside her front door) is whack-a-doodle.
The thing I can't understand is - she doesn't appear to have any new windows installed. Maybe the unicorn lied to her and said she had new windows?
Okay, sorry. That might not be completely accurate and I don't mean to offend anyone but she's at least having trouble adjusting her medication(s) or something. I mean, the facts speak for themselves:
1) Over the course of 4 years, she managed to paint her house a a blotchy purple (I think she used a couple different colors and that's why it's so blotchy).
2) Initially, she thought the perfect trim color for dark purple was, of course, gold. A year later, the unicorn living in her dryer lint catcher must have told her that poop brown was a much better choice. That change took 2 years to complete.
3) My dog hates her so you know there's some problem with her.
4) She threatened me not to glare and then thanked me for "our talk" when I hadn't said more five words all during her rant.
E) She threatened to call the cops on the Capt. and six months later was chatting him up (he was so stunned to see her smile at him he thought for sure it was a different person).
Enough reasons to start with?
The latest are the signs she's posted on her house.
At first, we didn't pay too much attention and thought maybe her boy-toy was working out of her house. Then, after a better look at the wordage and the threat not to trespass, the Capt. thought the signs were posted for her latest boyfriend. He reasoned that they'd had a fight. I said it was possible since she had taken out a restraining order on her ex-hubby a few years back. But the Capt.'s reasoning didn't make sense to me. However, I said nothing, as often something doesn't make sense to me until I've had a chance to process it.
Still, I'd never heard of someone having the first name of "Evans" before. "Evan", sure, but not "Evans".
So, I googled 'cause that's what I do when I'm puzzled. I google a lot obviously.
Turns out "Evans Glass" is a company and they are in this area. Now, stating the city or state statute restricting them access to your property is, perhaps, a bit extreme but logical. Directing anyone with questions to your attorney is a little over the edge.
Handwriting it in what looks like green crayon and black marker and putting up two signs (there's also one beside her front door) is whack-a-doodle.
The thing I can't understand is - she doesn't appear to have any new windows installed. Maybe the unicorn lied to her and said she had new windows?
I cann't read anything on the sign other than Evans Glass, what does the rest say?
You know she would make such a wonderful character in a book. The whack-a-doodle next door neighbor who keeps telling everyone within shouting distance that the guy behind her is a serial killer. And, of course, because she is-- well -- whack-adoodle, everyone laughs at her and laughs. . .
until she ends up dead.
hahahahahahaha
My crazy neighbors (as well as some of my crit partners' annoying coworkers) always end up dead.
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I'm sorry but I'm too chicken-shit to step too far on to her property to get a good pix of the sign. She tromps all over my property (and so does her offspring) but I'm completely non-violent and so, sadly, intimidated. Plus, remember she has threatened me already.
The sign states that according to WA state laws, Evans Glass cannot step foot on her property without her permission. And if you have any questions, you can call her escort - I mean, "esquire" as in attorney!
The Capt. has offered to help but I don't have any more bail money for him.
Oh, she will be in the next book. I so, friggin' guarantee it! It's gonna be soooo good. Ad she'll be so dead,
Yay! Love fiction writing!!
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